How to Find the Right Person is like stepping into a quaint. European-style boutique filled with elegant, delicate items that exude a touch of royal charm. The shop’s decor is bathed in soft whites and warm browns, with some pieces trimmed in gold or adorned with graceful floral designs.
It feels like you’ve been transported to a medieval European palace. Where you can almost picture yourself in a gown, enjoying English afternoon tea.
Among the many treasures in this shop, the display of scented candles immediately catches my eye. Some candles boast vibrant hues like pink or apple green, hinting at their bold, intense fragrances. Others are more subtle, dressed in understated off-white tones, and their scents are as fresh and refined as their appearance suggests.
Finding the Right Candle—And the Right Love
My journey with scented candles began about a year ago when I took up yoga. Lighting a candle during my practice became a ritual, adding a touch of tranquility to my routine.
Choosing a candle feels different from picking out other household items. While practicality and affordability often guide our choices in everyday products, scented candles are more like fashion statements. The fragrance you choose reflects who you are, and it needs to align with your lifestyle and personality for you to truly appreciate it.
When you find a candle that resonates with you, it can elevate your sense of well-being. But if the scent doesn’t match your vibe, it can actually detract from your quality of life. This is much like choosing a partner in love. The right person brings joy and healing, while the wrong one can leave you questioning why you ever got together in the first place.
There’s a saying: “We hope a partner will help us weather life’s storms, only to realize that the storms often come from them.” I think this speaks to the experience of being with the wrong person.
How to Find the Right Person: What Candle Shopping Can Teach Us About Love
Selecting a candle is surprisingly similar to finding the right partner. I start by quickly scanning the shelves, where a few candles stand out to me visually—like the simple elegance of a creamy white or the natural appeal of ocean blue.
Next, I pick up the candles that intrigue me and begin to smell them. I notice that candles fall into three categories for me:
- The Immediate No: Some scents are so off-putting that I quickly place the candle back on the shelf, pushing it out of my mind.
- The Maybe: Others are pleasant but leave me feeling unsure. I might set these aside and revisit them after smelling a few more, but there’s always some hesitation.
- The Definite Yes: Then there’s the one that’s just right—like the scent of cedarwood and nutmeg that I knew was the one from the first whiff. There’s no doubt, only the question of whether I’m willing to spend the money.
This is just like navigating through the people we meet. We often do a quick scan, forming initial impressions based on appearance and behavior. Some individuals immediately stand out, prompting us to want to get to know them better. We seek opportunities to interact, gradually learning more about their thoughts, personality, lifestyle, and even life goals.
At some point, we begin to ask ourselves, “Is this what I want? Are we on the same wavelength? Do our lifestyles match? Are we truly compatible?”
Clarify Your Values to Avoid Unfit Relationships
Before discovering this charming European shop, I had visited another store in search of the perfect candle. I quickly sampled all the scents, but none resonated with me enough for a second sniff. I was certain that none of these candles were what I wanted.
This experience is a lot like dating. When you’re clear about the values, qualities, and lifestyle you’re looking for in a partner, it becomes much easier to distinguish who’s right for you and who isn’t.
But when you’re unsure of what you want, you might end up choosing someone just for the sake of being in a relationship.
For example, if I had no idea what kind of candle scent I liked, I might have felt pressured to buy a random one from the previous store. Then, once I got home and lit it, I’d probably regret my choice because the scent wasn’t right for me.
This reflects what happens in relationships when you’re too eager to have a partner but haven’t clarified whether they’re truly compatible with you. You might find yourself stuck in an awkward and unsuitable relationship.
How to Find the Right Person by Improving Yourself for Better Compatibility
The final struggle before buying the candle I loved was the price. It was on the expensive side, and I couldn’t decide whether to splurge or not. I remember holding the last jar on the shelf, wandering around the store pretending to look at other items, while internally debating whether to make the purchase.
If I bought it, my wallet would hurt; if I didn’t, my heart would ache. In the end, I convinced myself to indulge a little, using some stimulus vouchers as an excuse to boost the candle’s economy
How to Find the Right Person: Aligning Yourself to Attract the Best Match
But the real takeaway wasn’t whether I bought the candle or not. It was the realization that sometimes we don’t meet the right person because we’re not yet equipped to match them. Even if you do meet someone special, if you’re not on the same level, it might not work out. When two people match on these levels, the possibility of being on the same wavelength increases, and the question of “Should we be together?” becomes relevant.
If you’re a highly disciplined person, would you be attracted to someone lazy?
Take a moment to think—what’s your answer?
For me, the answer is no.
From another perspective, if I’m drawn to disciplined individuals, I also need to embody that trait to attract similar people.
You will attract the kind of person you’re becoming. So love yourself in the way you want to be loved and elevate yourself to be the person you admire. As you grow, you’ll naturally find that there are plenty of people around you who are a good match.
I love the saying, “When the flower blooms, the butterflies will come.” When you keep improving yourself, becoming more confident and satisfied with who you are, believe me—you’ll not only be content with yourself, but you’ll also attract many people who are drawn to you.
How to Find the Right Person: The Path to Fulfilling Relationships
Finding the right person isn’t just about luck—it’s about knowing yourself, understanding your values, and continuously working on self-improvement.
When you align with the qualities you seek in a partner, you naturally attract those who are truly compatible with you. So, start the journey by becoming the person you want to be with, and watch as fulfilling relationships begin to unfold.
