When exploring Love Philosophy, many people often ask, “What can I do to find a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Instead of fixating solely on finding a partner, we should consider how to build meaningful connections with others.
“What can I do to find a boyfriend or girlfriend?”
However, rather than focusing solely on the goal of finding a partner, we should shift our attention to “how to build meaningful connections with others.”
Without healthy interpersonal interactions, it’s challenging to maintain a healthy romantic relationship. We are all independent individuals first and foremost, and through various experiences, we form different connections and interaction patterns. Building genuine relationships starts with everyday interactions. The more ordinary and detailed these interactions are, the better we get to know someone as a whole person—rather than just getting lost in the excitement of a romantic fantasy, which is often unrealistic and fleeting.
Starting with Friendship: A Key Concept in Love Philosophy
Except for the innate bond between parents and children, most relationships begin in a friendly manner, whether at school or work. Nobody meets someone and immediately decides to become soulmates or adversaries. It’s crucial to get to know someone without any preconceived notions, allowing both parties to interact in their most comfortable state, leading to better communication and relationship development.
Avoid setting high expectations or letting initial attraction lead you to imagine a romantic relationship prematurely. Understanding someone should be based on reality, not fantasies. If someone captivates you, approach them with an open mind, like appreciating a new landscape. Avoid overthinking or fantasizing about the future. Embrace a flexible attitude, and respect will help you experience a broader world.
Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
Even in close relationships, like between parents and children, it’s impossible to be with someone 24/7. Aside from newborns who need constant care, everyone spends a significant amount of time alone. Daily activities like eating, exercising, or shopping often occur solo.
There’s no need to view being alone as negative. If you’re struggling with this, stop dwelling on it and focus on what you need to do.
Being alone isn’t about loneliness or isolation; it’s about having a sense of direction and knowing where you are going, even without company. People who excel at solitude can still have many friends and enjoy socializing. They understand that even in solitude, they can lead a fulfilling life.
Your World Doesn’t Have to Revolve Around Others
Each of us is like a planet orbiting our own lives, moving along our individual paths. While we might come close to others due to various connections, we all have to face our own struggles and challenges alone. These moments aren’t frightening—they’re just part of life that we need to learn from and accept.
Whether it’s with family, romantic partners, friends, or colleagues, our relationships ultimately come down to everyday interactions. How you engage with the people around you shapes your relationships.
So, what makes for healthy interpersonal interactions? It’s simple: be with those who resonate with you, and let go of those who don’t. Embrace connections with people who share your frequency and vibe, but do so respectfully and considerately. There’s no need to force interactions with people who feel off or uncomfortable. Life is short, so invest your time in those who genuinely bring joy to your life.
There’s no need to stress about stepping out of your comfort zone or making tons of friends; if you’re uncomfortable, those around you won’t be either. Joy is contagious, and you’ll naturally attract people who match your energy.
Avoid Self-Pity and Embrace Self-Growth
First off, let go of the narrow view that being single means failure. Instead, focus on what you truly desire and pursue it boldly.
We often hear that if you work hard at something, you’ll get a result—like putting effort into dating skills to find a partner. But the reality is, life doesn’t always work that way.
Investing in yourself and becoming a better person is important, but it shouldn’t be measured by whether or not you find a partner. The goal is to enhance your own life and explore your possibilities, not just to attract someone else.
Your efforts to improve should be about discovering more about yourself and what makes you happy, not just to fulfill a relationship goal. After all, your life is yours to live. So, prioritize your own well-being and growth first. Just as you wouldn’t judge a fish’s ability by its ability to climb a tree, don’t measure your life’s worth by whether or not you have a partner. Your journey is unique and valuable, and it’s defined by how you live it, not by the presence of a significant other.
Understanding Relationships Through the Lens of Love Philosophy: It’s Not About Exact Exchanges
When you decide to be kind to someone, remember this: all your efforts should be voluntary.
Absolutely, when you choose to invest time and energy into someone, it doesn’t matter how much you give or what you get in return—everything is done on the basis of “I choose to.” No one can force or threaten you into giving more than you’re willing to, and likewise, no one should feel obligated to show gratitude or give back for what you voluntarily offered. We all have choices: you can decide not to contribute or simply stay on the sidelines, but if you choose to give, you shouldn’t expect to receive something in return based on your own expectations.
In reality, not everyone places the same value on these so-called “gifts.” What you might see as a significant effort could be seen by others as just a small favor or a friendly gesture. It’s great to be kind and helpful, but if your help comes with hidden expectations, it can complicate things and even lead to resentment. It’s not wrong to hope for feedback or appreciation, but you should first ask yourself if you’d still want to give without any promise of return.
Embracing Unconditional Giving
Love Philosophy teaches us that true kindness and generosity should come from a place of voluntary giving, not from a desire for something in return. Embrace this approach to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships where your actions are driven by genuine intentions rather than expectations.
